Friday, August 12, 2011

Prayer or maybe just showing up?

PRAYER

Feas Forever!
Barbara, Anna, Kim, & Kristie
May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of FAITH.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
And pass on the LOVE that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a CHILD of God.
Let HIS presence settle into your bones, BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT.
And allow your soul the Freedom to sing, dance and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you ; )

One of my BFFs from High School sent me this Prayer, in an email in May of 2000. My life was at a crossroads. I was single, finishing up my Master's Degree in Health Information Administration at MUSC and nothing was tying me down, except a silly one year old Golden Retriever pup, named Maggie May. I was trying to figure out which direction I was supposed to go. I was thinking of either heading back to the Tarheel State, maybe towards Research Triangle Park, or whether I would stay in Charleston, the HOLY city, where I felt like my heart had finally come home.

I said this Prayer at least twice a day (excellent timing for teeth brushing!) maybe more, I did alot of BREATHING IN and BREATHING OUT.

My boss apparently got wind that I was thinking of heading North after Graduation, so she made me a job offer, I could not refuse. That sealed it! Charleston became HOME in May of 2000. Life was GOOD!

I did alot of sailing that Summer - I LOVED it - Exhilarating! I bought a "Grown-up" house with a fenced in back yard for my Fuzzy Faced "Child." Soon, I fell in love, got married and we were blessed with an amazing child. We faced some significant losses in our lives. I learned about obedience. Obedience for me is FAITH when you can't see, hear or even feel God's presence in your life. Maybe because of my love for music, I started listening to our local Christian Radio station, HIS Radio 100.5 Even when I didn't feel it, the lyrics spoke to me and were somehow changing me from the inside out. I learned you have to show up, you move forward. I learned what Forgiveness really means and how sometimes you just have to "Do it Anyway."
FORGIVENESS by Mother Teresa
In Her Home for Children, Calcutta, India


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.


Mother's Day of 2011 was delightful. We were settling into our new home. My nasty Mom-Mobile received a bath with detailing inside and out, as requested. It really is the simple things! ; ) I received a Holy Cow Yoga Gift Certificate and a few other nice surprises. Life was Good!

One week later it felt like everything in my delightful life was now a BIG "?" Humbling. All the things I was so sure about the week before were now different: love, life, family, home, career, honesty, relationships, commitment, faith, future, trust, dreams, goals, etc., EVERYTHING!

So, I pulled this prayer out again today. Or maybe it found me!?!? ; ) It's a good one anytime, but especially uplifting when you feel like you're at a crossroads in life, or when you have more questions than you know how to answer. It's a reminder of our FAITH, even when we don't think we have it ourselves. It's a reminder that it's not about us - it's the JOURNEY, the winding road, even the roller coasters, growing, learning, obstacles we need to overcome, friends along the way, always there exactly when we need them the most, shining OUR Light! We are all gifted, we are all LOVED, we are ALL Children of God and we are ALL connected. You gotta get up, get out - sing & dance (or jump or whine or lean on your friends or LAUGH Out LOUD) and get some Sonshine - it is OUR Birthright! ; )

Photo by Heather Anderson




Mommy & Me - Wining & Whining - Kim, Sara & Karin

Alyssa's BFF, Piper, LEANING - 2008
I also had to include this photo of a 13 year Cicada - even with all the craziness going on in my life, I have been totally captivated by these little creatures this Summer. Maybe it's just because they showed up? Apparently, they burrow deep into the ground and stay there, only surfacing every 13 years. When I heard they would be showing up this Spring. I wanted to find one, so I could take it to my Preschool and show the little children a creature that only surfaces every 13 years. Maybe make a memory? - See a bug they would not see again until they were Teenagers, in High School. Fascinating! This year, I found two - one on my tire in the driveway, trying to camouflage himself about a month ago and one today. I almost stepped on her, when I walked out of the house. She was pretty still, sitting on the sidewalk, and the ants were curious, maybe something was wrong with her? So I jumped at this opportunity to take lots of photos ; ) When I was done, I put her on a leaf and put her up higher on one of our Indian Hawthorn bushes. When I checked on her later today she was not where I put her - hopefully, I will see her again in 13 years. I'm counting on it! ; )

Monday, August 1, 2011

A New Beginning . . .

I've always liked the first of January and felt for many years that a New Year was like getting a clean slate, a time to start over and a chance to do better. This January I felt the same way. What I was not expecting was the Rock-N-Roll, Summer to Remember of 2011. Many people I know are grown ups and I always thought I would eventually be one too, but I did not know that I would have to grow up so quickly, in just three months, after fighting it off for soooooo long, this Summer.

It feels sort of like that life contradiction when you wait to have children until you are "ready" (aka - somewhat responsible, financially stable, healthy, professional jobs, etc.) having children seems to rattle you to the core. If you had taken on children when you were young enough to keep up with them - ha! You probably would have had a lot more fun, more energy and definitely less wrinkles, but maybe not all of the "things" society dictates we should posses. Trade offs - taking the good with the bad. But it's all GOOD, right?!?!? Today, I'm thinking about this one.


Three of the Dwarves: Whiny, Sneaky & Sleepy : )
If you refuse to be a grown up until you are "ready" or perhaps in your 40's, and life brings you some serious U-Turns or curve balls, perhaps growing up is harder because you worked potentially harder and longer to avoid it. I'm a little sad today because I think my refusing to grow up has finally caught up with me - ugh! I'm also amused at how so many of my blog posts have been about Alyssa growing up too fast! : )

I rarely look forward to school starting and I am not changing my mind on this one, at least not today. But I am thankful that it is August 1st and I am thankful that May, June and July of 2011 are over! It's a NEW month, a new page on many calenders at our new home and the only thing I really had to do today was to show a little gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Today, I will shine the transforming light of gratitude on all the circumstances of my life." -Melody Beattie


I struggled with my "Newness" of Life earlier today and I was not sure if I could actually cope with the changes coming my way. But I took a deep breath and I looked around: it was a beautiful day, children at the park were laughing and making me laugh too. A friend called to say "Hi - and I'm here to help." A dragonfly flitted by and the Lantana in our walkway were covered in butterflies. An e-mail from a friend made me smile : )

Today, August 1st, is by no means perfect and I'm not wearing Rosy glasses - the grass needs cutting, I didn't get the Recycles out, I'm tired, there really are bills to pay, I have a headache and it's a lot harder to be an "Adult" than I thought it was going to be. But, I am grateful, especially for so many wonderful people in my life who know just how to lift me up, when I need it the most. Thanks - you know who you are! : )


We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. -E.M. Forster