A New Beginning . . .

I've always liked the first of January and felt for many years that a New Year was like getting a clean slate, a time to start over and a chance to do better. This January I felt the same way. What I was not expecting was the Rock-N-Roll, Summer to Remember of 2011. Many people I know are grown ups and I always thought I would eventually be one too, but I did not know that I would have to grow up so quickly, in just three months, after fighting it off for soooooo long, this Summer.

It feels sort of like that life contradiction when you wait to have children until you are "ready" (aka - somewhat responsible, financially stable, healthy, professional jobs, etc.) having children seems to rattle you to the core. If you had taken on children when you were young enough to keep up with them - ha! You probably would have had a lot more fun, more energy and definitely less wrinkles, but maybe not all of the "things" society dictates we should posses. Trade offs - taking the good with the bad. But it's all GOOD, right?!?!? Today, I'm thinking about this one.


Three of the Dwarves: Whiny, Sneaky & Sleepy : )

If you refuse to be a grown up until you are "ready" or perhaps in your 40's, and life brings you some serious U-Turns or curve balls, perhaps growing up is harder because you worked potentially harder and longer to avoid it. I'm a little sad today because I think my refusing to grow up has finally caught up with me - ugh! I'm also amused at how so many of my blog posts have been about Alyssa growing up too fast! : )

I rarely look forward to school starting and I am not changing my mind on this one, at least not today. But I am thankful that it is August 1st and I am thankful that May, June and July of 2011 are over! It's a NEW month, a new page on many calenders at our new home and the only thing I really had to do today was to show a little gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Today, I will shine the transforming light of gratitude on all the circumstances of my life." -Melody Beattie

I struggled with my "Newness" of Life earlier today and I was not sure if I could actually cope with the changes coming my way. But I took a deep breath and I looked around: it was a beautiful day, children at the park were laughing and making me laugh too. A friend called to say "Hi - and I'm here to help." A dragonfly flitted by and the Lantana in our walkway were covered in butterflies. An e-mail from a friend made me smile : )

Today, August 1st, is by no means perfect and I'm not wearing Rosy glasses - the grass needs cutting, I didn't get the Recycles out, I'm tired, there really are bills to pay, I have a headache and it's a lot harder to be an "Adult" than I thought it was going to be. But, I am grateful, especially for so many wonderful people in my life who know just how to lift me up, when I need it the most. Thanks - you know who you are! : )

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. -E.M. Forster